sábado, 31 de março de 2012

I made my mistakes, I know, I broke your heart,I was really stupid,but you did the same, because of her,because of your past, because everything you wanted back, and I still paying for things I did, people still hating me after all, and her ? People even know the reason of all your unconditional love and sadness !

And is it fair ? I'm paying for everything I did, and her is there, living a life,as anything happened (and doesn't matter what you say, I know, her is your reason, I'm just the friend, best friend and the person you enjoy the company with some smiles and kisses), I'm sick about all that shit, sick of just staying okay with everything, just agreeing everything, just because I can't f*cking imagine my life without you, you're more than every shit you do to me,more important than all the betrayals, even doesn't having intention of making me cry.

I think too much, you know it, but I will never stop thinking about this, I'll never trust you again, and I know, you will always make something to come back to your mind with all the darkness and her memories, I'm not good enough to have a life with you or something, 'cause I'm not her :) .

As you said one time, '' I said you're special, but I didn't say You're the one'', and I just be happy for some moments, I'm always hugging you, 'cause maybe it's the last time I'd probably do, you know ? Because one day you'll say goodbye and never come back.

You know, I'm mad, my mind is trouble and everything I do it's just cry and pray for a good day, with all ilusions, with your touch, with all these words, just trying to enjoy the moment, but I'm tired, that's not fair to me, I deserve something better, 'cause I'm better than this!  I'm here, making (or trying) everything to make you feel well, being an such idiot, always worried with you. I'm not asking for you do the same, I'm just asking for you don't give me hope, I know what you want (3 letters), I can read all your intentions, and I know in the end, I'll just be part of account, just another, and both of us will laugh or be mad about this, sad but true.

But I can't, just listening that people hates me because something I did, and someone that did something worst is smiling on this f*cking place with no worries about you, and you still loving her! I can't, I'm a fucking idiot, that's all I am !

And when the sun come out, I'll forget everything what I wrote, I'll blame myself for being an such selfish and smile, because I know you're here, by my side, everyday, and I'll be grateful for that :)

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